05 June 2013

overJOYed

This dinghy, along with the boat behind it, will soon be FOR SALE.
We are overJOYed.  The title for the post is Ean's pun, of course.  Anyone who knows him would guess it.  As in: Dear JOY, we are OVER you.

When we started this crazy adventure, we set a goal - to get 'round the world - but we gave ourselves a two-year "out" clause - if, after two years, either of us wanted OUT of this life, then we would get OUT and get a NEW life.

The first time we WANTED out - really discussed it seriously - was in Key West last June.  I just went back to reread the blog post.  I wrote, "I'm sure I'll look back at this juncture and either laugh or cry hysterically."

Well, I'm looking back now, and I realize, it's not an either/or thing.  I can do both.

After we'd been cruising for about a year, I wrote a post called "The Backside of a Dream."  I admitted:
We're coming up on our one-year cruising anniversary, and Ean and I have been reflecting on our new life. We're still pretty clueless.  We've found this life to be more difficult than we expected.  Things break all the time and we don't know how to fix them.  Ean misses toast.  I miss floor space.  We hate being mono-lingual and sand.
We realized, even then, that this lifestyle is not a good fit for us.  But hey, we had agreed to two years.  Let's see what happens.  We had this GOAL, you see.  Of circumnavigating the world.  We thought we could do it.  We wanted to have done it.

To cruise or not to cruise....we've been back and forth a dozen times.  It's hard to explain, but as I wrote a few months ago, cruising has made us bipolar.  A couple of months ago, I was SO excited about making that big leap out into the Pacific.  A couple of weeks ago, I was getting excited about gunkholing around Panama and making our way down the coast to Ecuador.  Hey, maybe we'll do Galapagos after all!  Hey, Easter Island, how cool would that be!

A couple of days ago, after many long conversations, some bitterness and tears, some wistful sighing and wicked blame-slinging, we finally admitted to ourselves that the highs aren't high enough to justify the lows.  Or the lows are too low... or too numerous...?  Maybe, if we would have made it across the S. Pacific, we would have decided to stick out.  SO close.  But Things Fall Apart.

If you're a little sad for us... yeah.  But don't be TOO sad.  Me and Ean, we are lucky, and we don't lose track of that.  We need to figure out what the new life will be - and we have lots of good choices... more than we deserve, probably.

I'll end here for now... although of course there's more to say. Stay tuned. Our next post: JOY FOR SALE (cheap).

10 comments:

  1. Wow. Speechless. Heck no, not me. Girl (and Guy) I get it. Good on you for knowing yourselves well enough to know before things got crazy, or too rough, or let's face it, too...DEEP. Love to you and CONGRATS for all you did!!!

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  2. Oh man. Guys, a big hug, but an air "high five"- because really, the most important thing is knowing what you need to do to be happy...and if something isn't working, to make a change. So hats off to you, for having the courage to make really bold moves. And at the end of the day- or the end of the one where this decision was made- you DO have a lot of options- and you'll find JOY wherever you go.

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  3. Yeah, what Behan said. End it on your own terms, then, and best wishes on whatever comes next.

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  4. Best wishes to you both. We gave ourselves a year to see if we like it (and we love it), but it's definitely not for everyone and the beauty of it is that you can always change your mind! Good for you for being strong enough to be honest about your feelings, because that's hard to do when you've invested so much time and work into something like this. You've seen and done more in two years than most people do in a lifetime so you've got memories to carry with you. You'll look back one day and remember the good and forget the bad, but you'll know you made the right choice for you. Best of luck in the next phase of your life!

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  5. Wow! I get it, though. If the whole thing doesn't bring YOU joy then no sense continuing with it. You've still had the adventure of a lifetime. Now that you've made the decision to move on, I know things will fall into place for you and you'll know what to do next.
    Just an aside to say I wish I could know how much I would really like cruising before I take the plunge. It's one of those things people must have to experience before they can really know. You guys went the distance finding out.

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  6. I'm reading this as we sit here in Mexico, pointing home to Texas with our boat for our own version of "what's next" looming. We've shared this anchorage with a couple who's been out eight years and they are so ready to be done. Like them, we're burnt out from travelling, ready to have a steady income and see life-long friends and family again (not to mention flushing toilets, A/C, etc). Cruising, for us, is just ONE chapter in our life story and we're excited to do other things as well. While I know we'll miss aspects of cruising when we're CLODs, these comments are such a refreshing perspective for those of us who have had the luxury of this novelty wearing off. I'm looking forward to hearing what you'll take up next :)

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  7. thanks, everyone. As Melody says, we invested a lot of energy in this, so it IS a bit sad, but then WHOOO-WHO! what's next? - is exactly right. Grateful for all our friends and loved ones, even those we haven't yet met.

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  8. Oh my goodness! Well, I'm glad we got the pleasure of meeting you and Ean during your travels, and I completely understand needing a bit of terra firma at times. I have been enjoying that myself the past few weeks! Good luck on your next adventure, and I hope we meet up again.

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  9. Well, this sad story makes me think that I made a very goood decision - to NOT go cruising until:

    1. We are completely financially secure and need not to work ever again. No matter what happens we sould be able to cover expenses without a blink, and be able to do that for years.

    2. Have a BIG boat, with all the comfort of a real home, and necessary toys like a/c, plenty of power, etc etc. so the comfort will not be compromized

    3. Be able to fix everything without help. That one I can do thanks goodness.

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