20 June 2013

Dear Jane

Affordable luxury in the heart of Ft. Lauderdale
[If you're here to BABSAM (Buy a Boat, Save a Marriage), please click here.]  

I've only just arrived today and already there is so much to report I hardly know where to begin!

First of all, let me just say that America is every bit as exciting as I remembered!! And the people are so friendly!!!

On the plane, I met the nicest young man, born in Honduras, raised in Panama of Palestinian descent with an American name and perfect English because he was educated in Kentucky. Fascinating! Talking with him during the redeye flight was so much better than catching the only few winks I would get in over 24 hours. He was extremely knowledgeable. He explained that the reason the airline I chose seems to offer only overnight flights is because the winds die down at night which translates into fuel savings that they then pass on to their customers. He also mentioned something about not needing to use air traffic controllers since no one else in in the sky at that time, but I didn't quite understand it.

It turned out that the company that I rented my car from is not actually on site at the airport. I got confused about the instructions for getting there and thought I needed to get on a city bus. I didn't have any change, but a nice man who was on the same flight as me kindly gave me all the change he had, $3.55 for my five dollar bill. How nice was that? Then it turned out that I wasn't supposed to get on a bus at all, but call the company for a shuttle pick up. Unfortunately, I'd already put one of my dollars in the fare box on the bus. The bus driver was very nice, though, and gave me an emergency pass, which means I actually made a net profit of 75 cents. Not bad for not even having had my first cup of coffee.

For dinner, I had jambalaya and collard greens and, no, I didn't drive to New Orleans to get them, just walk half a block to the Shuck 'N Dive in the Winn Dixie strip mall. Who knew there were regional variations in jambalaya: "Ft. Lauderdale style" is served without shrimp. And speaking of "jamba," yes, there is a Jamba Juice in the same strip mall. I thought about depriving myself out of deference to you, but then I decided you'd much rather I just didn't enjoy it very much, so I promise not to.

Traveling, as you have averred so often, is difficult and it is true. Did you know that this is the first time I've ever flown back to the U.S...on my own, that is? It turns out that to "declare" what you're bringing into the country to Customs does not mean to state it loudly. None of the customs officers particularly appreciated my announcement regarding the rum I had brought with me.

By the time I could finally check in to my motel room, I was pretty delirious from sleep deprivation. I didn't realize how bad off I was until I had this persistent hallucination that the reruns weren't subtitled in Spanish.

If you were to ask me when it finally hit me that I was back home, it would be the moment that, standing in the Winn Dixie liquor store, I was faced with the decision of having to choose between my three favorite whiskeys: Knob Creek, Makers Mark, and Jack Daniels. Ultimately, I wasn't up to the challenge, so I consoled myself with a decent bottle of scotch. I'm not sure it did me any good, but Larry gave me his extra Winn-Dixie loyalty card when I "declared" to the cashier that I didn't have one. Who's Larry?  Beats me. Just some guy trying to get back home to watch game 7 of the NBA playoffs between the Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs. I mean is that friendly or what?

Well, tomorrow I'm going to head over to Sears to buy some shorts since without the pair that we forgot to pull off the jib sheets and pack, I only have the pair I'm wearing. Don't forget to keep the two terminals of the wire we are using to charge our generator battery separate from each other or they will arc. Trust me, I know. Hopefully, we will sell JOY before we have to trade places, but if not, I vow to pull my weight as the other half of our crack sales and cat care team.

Reporting live from the Tropicana Motel in beautiful Fort Lauderdale, FL.


1 comment:

  1. What are you doing in Lauderdale?